I’m not exactly sure when it happened in my life.  Perhaps it was when my babies were no longer my tiny babies.  Or maybe it was when God put in me His heart and passion for the fatherless.  The lonely.  The unwanted.  The discarded.

His heart for all orphans.
The ones who live on the other side of the world and cry out day and night for someone to come for them.
And the ones who live right here in my backyard too. 
And then there are the others.  Those hardly ever spoken about. The ones with no voice.
The precious children yet to be born.
Those tiny lives that are frozen in time…
…waiting to either be given a chance at LIFE…
Or, as is common, to end up as one of the many victims of something I cannot wrap my human head and heart around.
To either be “discarded” or “donated to science.”
At some point in my walk with Jesus, He opened my eyes and totally broke my heart for something I never knew existed…
Hundreds of thousands of babies in this country who are often referred to as “property”…
…over 600,000 embryos who will either be given every opportunity under heaven and earth to grow and become ALL they were created to be…
…or who will end up in the hands of scientists working on the next scientific breakthrough.  Oh, Lord Jesus!
My heart breaks!  We believe with everything that is within us that LIFE BEGINS AT CONCEPTION. An embryo is LIFE, a HUMAN BEING…not a “thing”  or “property.”
And so began a journey.  A very long and winding journey. The Creator of the universe began to stir our hearts, open our eyes to the things unseen, and lead us down a road we never imagined we would ever journey at our age.
When the opportunity arose, we raised our hands to the Lord and said, “Yes! Here we [two extremely imperfect and probably a-wee-bit-too-old-for-this people] are, Lord, send us!
We did, however, have just one request of the Father.
“Lord, bring into our lives the babies yet to be born who are hard to find families for–those who may struggle a little more than others in this life.  Give us the precious embryos who desperately need to be chosen.”
And He did!  Of course.
With joy indescribable and hearts embracing a very new journey for our family, we are adopting again.
Through a series of miracles and the clear hand of the Lord who leads us onward, we are in the process of adopting four very loved, mixed race embryos.  These are our babies and already we adore them as our own flesh and blood.
They’re four embryos who have been frozen for a very long time. Waiting. Their precious Christian mother has searched for many years for a family for her remaining babies (sadly, due to severe health issues, she is unable to carry them herself). I cannot imagine being a parent and having to make such an agonizing decision about my babies!  I have such a love and respect for her.
Twin boys born from the same batch of embryos both have profound special needs. Could these remaining four also have special needs?  Very possibly. Only God knows. We’re not going to do genetic testing because, quite honestly, it simply just does not matter to us. We believe that they’re fearfully and wonderfully made just the way they are. 
And so God reached down from heaven and whispered to our hearts, “These children!  Chosen and dearly loved before the foundation of the earth.”
CHOSEN by their Father in heaven.
And by us too.
Soon to the given an opportunity to grow in the womb.  My womb.  They deserve every opportunity to grow and have LIFE.
We’re pressing forward and trusting the LORD every step of the way.  So many miracles have to happen along the way.  These babies need to overcome many obstacles–every one in the palm of His loving hands.
This is certainly a very different adoption journey for our family. We don’t know what the outcome of this adoption adventure will be.  Four precious embryos have to survive being thawed, one (or however many survive being thawed) has to then survive the transfer into my womb, and finally, if I were to become pregnant, my body would need to maintain the pregnancy. So many odds stacked against these little darlings. Only God!
But I am confident of this one thing…
No matter what the outcome…if God blesses us with even one live birth or if none of these babies were to survive this side of heaven…
…these embryos will have the dignity of the womb.
And one genetic mother will finally have peace knowing that her babies were at least given a chance.
We’ll give it our best shot–do everything we can to try and ensure their survival from the test tube to the womb.
The rest we’ll leave in His capable, dependable, faithful hands.
We’re stepping out in faith once again and surrendering our lives to the One who gave His all–with all of our flaws and our many imperfections and our hearts that stumble and fall so often. One of my greatest desires in this life is that, when that day comes and I stand before my Jesus, I would be able to tell him with all my heart and soul, “I gave you everything I had!”  Sometimes I get it right. Sometimes I fail so miserably. I long to give my life away–every part of me.  I want to be so empty on earth and so full of the things of heaven.
Thank you for journeying with my family as we navigate our way through very unchartered territory.  Your love and support means the world to us.
Because every single life matters.

No matter how big.

Or how very small.


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