Today Hasya and I spent the entire day at the hospital. We had one doctor’s appointment after the next.
Anthony and I knew from the moment we said yes to adopting our oldest daughter that it would be a journey of unknowns. We knew that every diagnosis Hasya had been given in her country was more than likely not the last of them.
And so it has been. God had graciously prepared our hearts for such a time as this.
When Hasya was admitted into the hospital soon after arriving home, we consulted with a lot of doctors. Many, many tests were run and slowly but surely we began to get a much clearer picture of her health and the journey which lay ahead. One of the specialists who came to see Hasya in her hospital room was an opthalmologist. He briefly examined her eyes and, quite honestly, did not give us much hope for good vision.
Over the past few weeks we have closely observed our precious daughter–gauging when she seems to focus on objects. We’ve had concerns and anxiously awaited our follow-up appointment with the opthalmologist today to get definitive answers regarding her sight.
Today I sat beside my darling girl with a lump in my throat as many tests were run, lenses placed before her eyes, and light shone onto the retina. Not much was said as the doctor went about his work.
But a mother knows.
Before he even said a word, God had prepared my heart.
Friends, Hasya is legally blind.
She cannot see beyond her nose. And even the vision right before her eyes (at the tip of her nose) is blurry. When I asked exactly what she could see, I was given a pair of lenses to place before my own eyes.
The picture? A mass of thick, thick clouds. A complete blur! There was nothing. Absolutely nothing!
She does, however, have the slightest bit of vision up close.
In discussing our options with the doctor, I stressed that we would do anything (anything!) to ensure that Hasya has the best quality of life she possibly can. Unfortunately no surgery can restore her vision. Since she has the tiniest amount of vision when objects are held right up against her nose, there is a possibility that corrective lenses may help. It’s a long-shot, but definitely worth a try! Lenses will never give her perfect vision, but they may enable to her to see some.
Here’s the deal and a prayer request. We are absolutely going to go ahead and get the lenses for Hasya. The only way she can have any vision (besides God restoring it, of course!) is if her brain forces the eyes to cooperate with the lenses. If her brain is unable to do that, then sadly the lenses will be futile and she will live without sight.
Do I believe this can work? Yes! With all my heart! I believe in a God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly MORE than we could ever ask or imagine. I believe that we need to do everything humanly possible to give Hasya the ability to see–and leave the rest in His capable hands.
What caused Hasya’s blindness? I asked the doctor that very question. It’s hard to say. So many years of neglect and uncorrected strabismus could certainly have caused her eyes to deteriorate over the fifteen years she lay confined to a crib. Her cerebral palsy may also have played a part in it. Or she may have been born blind, and it was never diagnosed. There is just no way of knowing.
She’s our princess–one of our treasures on this earth. And so tonight I will once again place her in the loving hands of her Jesus who adores her.
And even though my heart is aching because this is just one more thing Hasya will have to deal with in her life and everything in me wants to yell, “Enough already!”… I’ll choose to walk by faith and not by sight!
I’ll choose to believe that even in this, the Father’s glory will shine brightly.
“I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” ~~ Isaiah 42:16