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confessions

Of a mom, a wife, and a daughter of the most High God who absolutely does not have it all together all the time.

~~~  After ending up in the ER, my dear hubby got admitted into hospital this week. I lay in our bed that night thinking about all the things that could possibly go wrong. I imagined my life without the love of my life. Fear consumed me.

Then I remembered that we serve the one and only HEALER we will ever need.

~~~ On days like today I wonder where provision will come from.

Then I remember that my God has NEVER let us down.  Ever! His provision never runs dry.  He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

~~~  Some days I feel so inadequate to do the things the Lord has called me to do in this life.

Then I remember that He equips me with everything I need to fulfill the calling on my life.

~~~  Some days I’m concerned about what tomorrow will bring.

Then I remember that my Father is already there, and that He commands me NOT to worry about tomorrow.

~~~  When I see my family overseas on Skype, I ache to be with them.

Then I remember how faithful God has been to me over the nine years that I have been away from my family–He has always ensured that I have seen them regularly.

~~~  When I close my eyes and see the ones I left behind in my daughters orphanage, I fight back the tears. My heart cannot comprehend the injustice of it all.

Then God reminds me that He holds them in the palm of His hand.

~~~  Recently I’ve been feeling so weary from the craziness of life over the last few months.  I feel like I need some time to do as little as possible.

Then I remember that my God is Faithful and True–He WILL restore my energy and give me everything I need to run this race with perseverance.

~~~  Today I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders.

Then I remembered that the burden is HIS, not mine, and that He absolutely CAN carry every care and concern of my heart on His shoulders.

~~~  I look at my new home and wonder if I will ever be able to get it looking the way I want it to. I have never moved into a new home with seven children–it is taking so much longer to get organized.

Then I remember to take one day at a time, I have a lifetime to get organized.

~~~  My time with the Lord feels so inadeqaute and I am struggling to get back into a normal routine…I know He misses His time with me.

Then I remember that the God I serve is full of grace and mercy.

~~~  With a new school year fast approaching, I really should start planning curriculum–but just don’t find the time to sit down and work on it. It’s a burden.

Then I remember that the Lord will lead and guide me in this too.

~~~  Today I wanted a lot of different things.  I wanted.  I needed.  I just had to have.  So many different things.

Then I remembered that….

The Lord is my shepherd,
I shall NOT want!

 
~~~  When the road just feels hard, God gently reminds me that…

It was never meant to be easy.
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