I would love nothing more than for you to read their story and then hop on over to their blog. Please prayerfully consider helping this young military family to rescue their precious Alaina. If you feel led, please sow seed into their adoption fund (via the Chip-In on their blog). Also, if any of you would like to help them with a fundraiser or by donating items to one of their future fundraisers, please let Lauren know by contacting her through her blog. I know it would mean the absolute world to them.
Coming across Reece’s Rainbow was not an accident, but a seed planted by God, that would forever change my life.
It was actually about this time of year, last year. Maybe October, I’m not sure. I was blog reading, and stumbled upon this blogger that was advocating for a very adorable little boy. His name was Sam, and he was about to be transferred to an adult mental institute where he would surely die. Included in the blog was a link to Reeces’s Rainbow. So I clicked on it.
I will never forget.
All those faces.
I then saw a video that had me on the floor crying. It was a news video that showed the inside of an Eastern European adult mental institute. Everyone should see that video. Everyone should know.
And I couldn’t forget. Doing dishes, laundry, talking with friends, trying to sleep at night…the tugging at my heart would not go away. Playing with my boys, that is when I felt it the most. In my mind, I put my happy Kyle, funny Brandon, and newborn Seth over there in those conditions.
Without love, hugs, comfort, assurance, happiness, security…nothing.
Those children over there…they are the same. They have feelings, wants, needs, desires…they are human. They are innocent children, babies, for crying out loud. And their faces wouldn’t leave my mind. No matter how hard I tried pushing them away…because after all, what could I do? I had three very young children and there was no way I could handle a fourth, with special needs.
Months passed, seasons changed, kids grew a little more, family relocated…and through it all, those children never left my heart. I started to pray more, asking God what He wanted from me. But I was too afraid to really listen.
My husband and I had briefly talked in the past of one day adopting….far into the future. The conversation was so brief folks that I could be making that up. 🙂
I think we even had a heated discussion over the topic. An interaction between the two of us full of disagreement. He would say he was open to it, and I believed him, but if I mentioned it too much, it would cause tension between the two of us. Fear in him, maybe?
So that was that. I didn’t bring up adoption to him again for months. But I kept praying. I kept visiting the RR website. Not a day would pass when I wouldn’t think about those children.
Then I came across Adéye’s blog. Her love and her husband’s love for Jesus, for serving Him, for giving their life to Him…wow. I would read and read, and think, “That is what I want!” To love Jesus so fully and completely. To stop pretending and to DO SOMETHING.
One night, after months of ignoring the quiet stirrings I felt within….I knelt and prayed and told God, “Okay, I’m listening, I’m yours. I want to do what You want me to do.”
Well, I knew what He wanted me to do, because He had been bugging me for the last several months about it. 🙂
So I told my husband my heart’s desires. I told him that I had been praying and that I wanted to adopt a sweet angel from RR. I sent him the link to Adéye’s husband’s blog and asked him to please read it. That is all I said to him and didn’t say another word.
But I did start praying that God would open his heart to it.
Weeks went by, and while I was on RR, I saw a little girl that took my breath away. It was not our Alaina, but another sweet angel. I emailed my husband her picture. He promptly wrote back, ‘She’s adorable..find out more.’ (Things didn’t end up working out with her because another family had inquired about her first, and as heartbroken as I was, I couldn’t be more thrilled with how He worked things out. We had seen our Alaina shortly after we fell in love with the first little girl, but didn’t know how to decide. He did it for us.)
God worked fast in him. And when I asked him why and how he was so eager and willing, he replied, “Only God.”
We committed to Amanda from Reece’s Rainbow in September.
Right before we went through with our decision to adopt, I had an experience I would like to share here. My husband was gone, and it was just me and my computer for the night. For whatever reason, I started to google adoptions gone wrong. I had been reading all these great things about adoption, but apparently I felt the need to be informed about the flip side of all those great things. Big mistake. What I read was terrifying, and I immediately started to cry. Fear came over me, and I suddenly did NOT want to adopt. At all. I just knew we were making a big mistake. I couldn’t stop crying. So I said to God out loud, “I’m afraid, and if You want me to do this, then I need You to bring me peace about it.” INSTANTLY, I had the most amazing feeling wash over me. You guys, it was incredible. I no longer had one ounce of fear in me, I felt completely calm, and at ease. I stopped crying. I was so blown away by this overwhelming feeling that I had to put my computer down and walk away. That is the power of God. I knew then, in an instant, that we were making the right choice.
This road hasn’t been an easy one. The paperwork, so far for me, it’s been a cinch. I don’t mind it. But the fundraising…blah. We’ve had no support from our church. The first time we inquired about doing a benefit dinner, it took them three weeks to get back to us. Even though I felt like a burden to them, I emailed back. I included a link to the Serbian institute video and another one to my blog; I wanted them to know what we are fighting for. I asked another question, and stated that I’d like to proceed with the dinner. It’s been almost two weeks, and I still haven’t heard back. A friend of mine that lives in another state asked her pastor if she could do an enchilada pie bake sale for us. He said no, because then that opens the floodgates and other families will want to do the same. Like Adéye said, they are just not getting it!! I don’t understand.
I have to keep reminding myself throughout this journey to trust God and HIS timing. Not mine.